#2

#1

Surviving College version 2.0

So it’s my second year of college and I gotta say… it’s been quite an experience so far.  There have been roller coasters of ups and downs in academics, life, hell, pretty much everything.

You know when people say that this is the time you will treasure the most?  Well, they aren’t kidding, for these four years, you have leeway to do whatever you want to.  No one’s stopping you from pursuing odd careers or dressing funny or whatever it is that everyone else does in college.

You find your niche, and you make it yours; you own it, and you get to mold it however you want.  That’s college, that’s what I’m going through.  It’s pretty great.

-Kev

Pizza Rolls

On the way back form a late-night trek to CVS, I got thirsty and decided to buy a soda. Little did I know that the convenience store (Which will go unnamed, but rhymes with express tart) only allowed 3.00 purchases with debit cards. Now I could talk about the oddity of having limits on ATMs but that would be pointless and you would probably stop reading.

Anyway, I had to make up 2 dollars and 45 cents because the drink I bought was only 55 cents. So looking around the store, I notice these pizza rolls. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried them, but when I was a kid they used to taste amazing. So for the sake of nostalgia and to tack on $2.45 to my receipt, I took the plunge and bought the rolls.

I sat looking at the badly designed box with my girlfriend and decided it probably wasn’t best to eat it that night.

Therefore, the following day I heated up all 15 rolls and decided to have lunch. Unknowingly, I was about to consume a ridiculous amount of bad, bad food. So 15 rolls later, I sat there not feeling nostalgic or full, but rather greasy and fat.

Alas, I’ve learned lessons from my late night trek.

• I should eat healthier.
• If you think you should go out at 1 AM to buy something, you’re probably wrong
• You stopped doing things when you were younger for a reason

Petco selling EXPIRED treats

I recently visited a local Petco today and the little “manager’s bargin bin” caught my eye. Looking around at several items, my eye came across treats that I thought I might buy. I was looking at the back and what do I notice, but that the treats were expired!

Notice the Petco font on the sign

This is the bin the “manager’s special” items were in

And finally, notice the date of expiration–April, 2007

I’ve owned turtles before and from experience, I already know that many employees at pet stores don’t know the most about animals, but if you’re trying to stock and sell me expired food, you should make sure I don’t have a camera phone on me first.

Here’s to your expired treats Petco,

-Kev

Tito

There is a tree that confuses me.

I don’t know the name, genus, species, or anything about it, but what amazes me is not that I don’t know what type of tree it is (I’ve cleverly called it Tito), but how kind this tree is. Now wait, WTF, kind? Like kind, “I’m going to help this old lady with her bags,” kind? Well no. I guess I mean humble. Yeah, humble. Scratch kind. Tito is not kind, Tito is humble.

Tito has paper-thin skin that rips off. Of course, Tito is a tree, and his bark must serve some purpose, although that purpose is beyond me. Since I don’t understand the biological benefits peeling bark, he confuses me.

In my head, Tito is giving as much of his life up as the world wants. If I rip a piece off, he doesn’t complain, if a squirrel comes by and does the same, Tito is still just there, not caring how much we are taking, not even thinking about how much he is giving. If all his bark was ripped off, and he became a nothing, Tito still would not care. He can give up his protection, his life for nothing in return.

Can you?

-Kev

A change to my blog

Hello millions of readers of BLUEgreen, I have decided to change the main content of my blog. I will still be writing the same blogs, although not as often as before (as you can already tell).

Please click the link to vote on the options.

Take the poll

Later Days,

-Kev

Dust Bunnies

I don’t really understand why the term dust bunnies is termed “dust bunnies,” I mean, why not dust lions? Or dust dragons, rather. You would really want to get rid of them if they resembled a scary reptile–unless you were fond of dragons…then it would make sense if you called it something you were afraid of.

Personally, I would call mine dust male-strippers.

It makes sense, doesn’t it?

I mean from my point of view it makes perfect sense. What heterosexual male wants male strippers in their house?

Especially if they are made of dust!

Not me!

-kev

Why no boy should ever ride a tricycle.

1. Alpha male status- by bypassing the unnecessary third and forth wheels, you will also bypass your peers in male supremacy. (skipping the third and fourth wheel is also analogous to skipping a third or forth wheel on a date–it’s always better with two people. [sorry unicyclists, a one-wheeled date would just be awkward and potentially emotionally scarring])
2. You learn by messing up- don’t be an estrogen geyser, boys are supposed to mess up. All the time in fact. especially when it comes to girls, but that’s later.
3. Control of speed & smoothness- two necessary skills a boy must learn. Girls will like this too.
4. Scars-chicks dig them.
5. Prefixes- ‘tri-’ and ‘try’ are pronounced the same while ‘di’ and ‘die’ and pronounced the same. Die just sounds cooler.
6. Practicality-a 2-wheeled bike can go faster than a person who is running. A tricycle cannot.
7. Religion-Jesus did not ride a tricycle, nor did Siddartha, Shiva, Confucius, Thor, or Zeus. Ask yourself: What would Poseidon do?
8. Dignity-you may end up like this guy

Well, hopefully these 8 rules should keep you or your sons from ever picking up those ungodly machines.

Later Days,

-Kev

Sexxx.

Honestly, the title of this blog has nothing to do with what I am going to talk about. I kinda did it to get more people to read it, haha. Shameful? Very.

Well, it worked because you’re reading it right now, yes?

Anyways, I started working out more because I felt sluggish and tired all the time.

I am proud to say I am still tired. It could be because I slept really late last night and woke up at 9 something… but I highly doubt that…kinda. Ever find it funny when you or other people work out how your faces gets so distorted. One day I would like to take a camera to the gym and snap shots of people running or lifting their max. I would compile all the images into some cool sounding book, something like People who look like a cinder block was shot at their faces with a cannon. That would be neat, right? (coming October 200

Well, off that topic I hear Toyota is going to switch to a pure hybrid line of cars very soon. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think they’re cool, and I’m not saying they shouldn’t. What I am saying is that that for some reason, a hybrid car makes me feel less manly. For some reason, I don’t think driving a candy red Prius would compare to driving a candy red ‘67 Camaro or anything. There’s a certain feeling you get when you hear an engine purr that makes a car, well, a car. I don’t want to be starting up a computer when I am turning my car on. Maybe they should make some crazy sound system that mimicked car sounds. That would be cool. I’m all for the environment, and I know that it sounds backwards to want an old car if I care about the environment– I guess I’m just one of those stubborn Americans.

You know what I find funny? Why people hate America so much. Honestly, I love this country. Granted, our leader and our decisions in the previous four years haven’t been exactly effective, but regardless, it’s a damn great country. Now if one day one of the 20 some readers who read my blog (sad! please digg it.) happen to be from outside of America, or from America (but wishing they were living in Canada or whatever) and don’t agree with what I say, then well… well… sucks for you, I guess. I find it unfair when other countries look to America for help and get mad when America helps, I mean, don’t bitch if you ask for help. And don’t bitch if you don’t get any. Theres a reason people come to America for help, and it isn’t because we’re dumb backwards warmongers.

It’s to early to talk about politics.

Let talk about good byes.

Later days,

-Kev